They keep their eggs on the shelf here!? Not in the refrigerator! How wierd is that...this country has some strange quirks for sure. For those if you who have been reading for the last few weeks you know my living situation has been up in the air, and I am FINALLY in a permanent place!! And with the girls that I was originally with, which is a very quick and very exciting answer to my prayers. I love where I am, and just can't get over how much of a provider Jesus has been to me here.
So yes, God has been incredibly faithful in the big and small . It has almost been a whole month since I left New Braunfels...i just thought about that as I typed it ha. I keep counting in days because it makes it seem shorter but it really has been that long! There are so many specific things I would love to share with you all, but I think one of the most powerful has been by Robert Ferguson, one of the pastors on staff here. This guy is a gun! He is an incredible, British man of God, and I think half of what he says sounds wiser because of his accent...don't judge me, you would think that too!!
Anyway, he started out by asking one of the married young women to describe kissing her husband. As this was awkward and a strange question...she reluctantly avoided answering, and he made the point that a kiss was something too intimate and personal to explain the mechanics of. He then asked another married young lady to describe picking up after her husband when he leaves his socks on the ground. She of course replied that it was a daily routine for her and that it was not exciting or intimate in the least. At this point we were all thoroughly confused as I am sure you are BUT he proceeded to say that true worship is like marriage. There is an intimate and deeply personal level to it, like the kiss, and another level entirely that is routine, habitual, and a daily discipline like picking up the socks. Some people think of worship too often as just music...the intimate kiss part where God is mysterious and any interaction with Him is set to songs and sounds coming from a stage. Others say that worship is just your life, made up of service and acts of kindness and generally abiding by the word. Both groups are wrong. Worship is fully both. Jesus' disciples were in a constant cycle of coming in to spend time with Him, and then going out to do His work. Getting fed and taught and discipled and then equipped to do His work. But they could never have only done one of those things. You can't just spend all your time at Jesus' feet soaking in His every word...you have to go and do his work at some point...but not before you have been intimate and deeeply personal with Him. It is only after being in the quiet place with Him and hearing his heartbeat for His people that we can effectively go and be imitators of Christ to the broken world we live in. Worship is a cycle of coming in...and going out...coming into the intimacy and quietness of His presence...and going out, taking His presence and His love to others. It is the kiss, and the socks...
I didn't do him justice, but that idea really spoke to me, as I hope it does to you :)
I'm trying to just be teachable here. I was just talking with my sweet friend Ashley (love you!) about how it is so hard because I am begging the Lord constantly to change my heart and renew me and so excited for what is to come...but I am also very aware of my weaknesses and pride. It is really difficult to not feel fake when I sing songs with words like "So I lay me down, for kingdom come. All that is within me, all I want in this world is more of you." I don't always/ever feel genuine because I don't feel that way some days. Is raising your hands in worship on a day when my pride gets the best of me being fake?? I think the answer is, no. If I wait till I am perfect and sinless to worship my God then I will never sing another song again. So as humbling and gutwrenching as it is, I will keep coming before him with my wickedness and pride in hand, ready to lay it down at His feet...and I will be doing that at every worship service till the day I die.
God is beautiful. I love Him!
Love you all.
This is a link to one of my favorite songs we play here...and The video is pretty much just like our worship services here just without all the lasers and smoke ha. Also the subtitles on this video are not all right...sorry! Hope you love it!