So every Thursday night we have what's called Team Night...the creative team at the city campus meets together and we have worship and one of the leaders brings the word. Probably some of my favorite worship and teaching out of any Hillsong service. It is usually some sort of word on worship or related to being on the creative team, and it just always hits home for me. This Thursday Reuben Morgan spoke (he is the one that wrote Mighty to Save and a bunch of other Hillsong songs) and he used an analogy that really made alot of sense to me and gave me alot to think about.
There is a saying around here that is, "If you do what God has put in your hand, He will give you what's in your heart." Basically no matter how small or insignificant you feel like what God has given you to do is, do it to the best of your abilities and with faithfulness and God will give you the desires of your heart. In talking about that, Reuben grabbed a green apple and just held it in his hand. He asked the question...
How much fruit is in this apple?
Wierd question...honestly I was lost for a while. But then he explained how we think of the apple having only the fruit that we can eat and no more. It doesn't seem like much at all...until you consider the seeds inside of it. Once we have eaten the apple then we have seeds. If we plant those seeds and water them and take care of them...more apple trees will grow. Those trees will have apples, and those apples will have more seeds and so on...there is acutally an incredible amount of fruit in that one apple.
That apple is sometimes what we feel like God has given us. Believe me, I know what it is to feel like what your doing just really doesn't matter all that much. I know what it feels like to do the same thing over and over again and feel as if you aren't learning or growing...what it is to become familiar and discouraged and think that God hasn't really planned out anything special for your lifetime. Which is how we will always feel if we forget that there are seeds inside the apple. We can choose to take those seeds that come from doing what God has given us to do, and sow them. Sow them into our character and our future. Use the lessons and the trials and the sometimes monotony to build ourselves up and grow deeper in the Lord. He never does anything for no reason. He would never give you an apple that didn't have the potential to bear more fruit...He wants us to succeed and grow and learn.
I have been struggling alot these past few weeks with just trusting that God's heart is to bless and prosper me. I have just been reading all those verses that are God's promises, and all the Psalms talking about how God is our provider and saviour and comforter and how He will never forsake us, and to be totally honest...I have a hard time fully believing all those statements. We were singing a new song in worship the other day and the bridge goes..."the lost are found, the blind will see, the lame will walk, the dead will live, and you our God, forever you will reign..."And while I was singing it, I just felt like God was asking me
"Do you actually believe that I can do those things?"
Ouch...confronting question. Then I was thinking about verses like Jeremiah 29:11 and "Delight yourselves in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" and all those wonderful lines about who God is, and I had to answer the question...Do I actually believe that God does those things. Sure I believe the Bible is true, but exepcting God to do what He says...maybe it's just me, but sometimes it's hard to believe.
In our chapel meetings, our principal often picks out students that she feels like God has a word for. All 300 of us get excited when she scans the crowd, and we all secretly hope she will have something for us, and sure enough Tuesday was my day. "Where is Lindsey from the choir?" She said...and the camera man, unfortunately a friend of mine who found me very quickly, zoomed in on my shocked face. And there I was on the big screen just waiting for what the Lord told her. She said that she felt like I was one of those people that was a fragrant aroma to the Lord. She said she was watching me sing in choir and thought that I must make God smile, and then she said she felt like God was saying, "Yah...she does :)" She said that I was sunshine to this college, and color for people who are feelings like their lives are gray, that I was just a joyful and pleasant spirit to have around.
I was shocked. I didn't even know that she knew who I was. Everyone asked afterwards how it felt to have Katrina give me a word, and she is an amazing woman of God, so yes, it was really great. But most of all, what got me was that I either believed that word was from God or not. She believed it was...she believed that was something God told her about me...do I believe that God would think that about me? I want to 100% yes, but I don't know if that would be honest.
I want to get to a point where when I read God's promises, I believe them with my whole heart. I want to take God at his word. I want to believe with everything I am that if I am obedient to what God has asked me to do, and I take the green apple that is in my hand, he will faithful to honor my obedience. He is so good to me, I don't know how I couldn't believe everything He says. He has been a fauthful friend and comfort in this sometimes lonely place. He is the only thing that has never changed. He loves me because I'm His, not because of any skill set or perosnality trait. And He feels the same way about you.
So be faithful with what God has put in your hand...and He will give you what is in your heart. His promises are real, and there is no risk in putting all our trust in Him. We dont' need back up plans or a "just in case". He is the real deal.
You are loved and prayed for. I hope you are learning more about the Lord everyday and seeing Him in fresh, new ways. Be encouraged, you are not alone! Have a wonderful week.